I had done a post a while back about the art of gifting. After reading a series of posts on good gifts and bad ones, I am tempted to write once more on this subject. Like the writer of one of the posts I read states, giving a bad gift is as good as insulting them. Why bother getting something crappy and foisting it on some poor unsuspecting folk when you don’t really give a shit?

Last year, P got gifted this rather beautiful richly worked pyjama-kurta for his birthday by couple of S’s cousins. I was real pleased cos 1. I really like to deck P in such traditional stuff 2. it also told me they were thinking of him when they were in the motherland. But the pleasure lasted all of 10 seconds – about the time it took me to take the outfit out of the packet and shake it loose. It was a good two sizes too small for P. The pyjama came barely upto his knees! While getting the wrong size is a fairly normal mistake to make, the reason it irked me was the cousin’s child was the same age and almost the same height as P. Couldn’t they have just held it against their own child to make sure it was the correct size before buying it? I put it away the next minute, to give to my cousin who, being two years younger than P, would be able to wear the outfit easily.

Whilst in India, I noticed that the concept of ‘gifting’ has got worse. This is much more in force in S’s side of the family, what with regular visits being taken as occasions of gifting. These are not regular run-of-the-mill stuff – they are normally the latest dustcatcher to hit the Parrys market, be it a kitchen tidy or a showcase item. First thing that is generally bandied upon is the cost of the said gift. Now that is a big turn-off for me – asking / stating the price of a ‘gift’ as you pass it on. Why would you want to do that? Gifts are priceless, in my opinion, for they carry the special thoughts and feelings the ‘gifter’ has for the ‘giftee’. The minute you put a price tag on it, then the only thing on the mind of the giftee and anyone else in the vicinity would be if the item was worth that amount and where one can get it cheaper, thus destroying the whole beauty of the process.

This is why I like the idea of gifting experiences, courtesy sites like Buyagift.co.uk. Knowing the personality of the ‘giftee’, one can get a voucher for bungee jumping or white water rafting or super car driving. The resulting experience would be remembered for a long, long time, making it a most wonderful gift. I have got S many such vouchers – 30 mins flying lesson, go-karting and the latest, 3 laps in his favourite car in a race course of his choice and every time, he has come back with an adrenaline rush rivalling that of a championsip winner!

When I quit my job couple of months back, my team got together and gave me a number of gifts – Amazon vouchers (which are extremely useful as I am going to be a student and as such need all the monetary help I can get!), High Street vouchers (again, useful for a student to top up on clothes etc), my favourite chocolates, some glittery girly stuff from an exclusive jewels store nearby, a bunch of gorgeous looking flowers and my personal favourite, two framed photos. One was a pic of P and me, taken for a work photo shoot, of which I did not have a copy and as such love it; the other one was a pic of my whole team. This was the best gift of the lot as every single one of them HATES having their picture taken and every time I had tried to in the past, I had met with a near-hijab clad lot. To see them all voluntarily posing for a photo, in my book, is the bestest gift they could have ever given me! (Moral of the story – the satisfaction one gets from a gift is directly proportional to the thought and effort that has gone into it.)

In the case of children, Premalatha asks a parent’s dilemma: should one organise a gift-free party and deny them the joy of receiving gifts or indulge in the gluttony of it. Birthdays are special and presents occupy a special place in a child’s heart so why take that away from them? I say let’s take the middle path – rather than each child arriving with a present costing £10, it will be better if all the parents pool their resources together and get vouchers from ToysRUs or get a bicycle or something big the birthday child has got his/her heart set on. Of course, this will mean someone has to take the initiative and organise the whole thing but the result would be well worth it.

So, next time you are taken by the urge to get a For The Sake of Gifting gift, either drop the idea or make them, like this blogger did, something delicious you yourself made. Do not get pulled into dumping your free samples on them.

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