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I took the last step to change my surname today. Finally. No going back. And I feel kinda weird about it.
I have been using the married name slowly and gradually since I came to the UK. From strictly stating “I WILL NOT CHANGE MY SURNAME” to ” hmm yeah maybe in my medical forms – and purely so the baby will have your name”, it was a journey fraught with difficulties. What’s in a name, you ask. Well it is MINE. The one I was born with and here I am becoming something else.
It is okay for the men, who are Mr XY from the day they are born till forever after. Unlike us poor women, who have to suffer the collateral damage of getting married, as a friend once put it. Here we are, happy going through life as Miss AB and suddenly, in one fell swoop, everything about you is changed – right from what you call “home” to your flipping name! Not fair, is it?
And, being a Tamilian, I didn’t have a “surname” as such, just my dad’s name after mine. So it felt like I was letting go of my maternal home by ditching the pater’s name.
Well I whined variations of this theme for the past almost 9 years and The Spouse has become blase to it. It wasn’t as if I didn’t have the long-winded name tacked on to mine at all. I just didn’t get it done officially – in my passport, it still stated my name as my maiden name. And that was just fine.
Till today.
This morning, we took the first step towards finally embracing Britain as “ours” by applying for British citizenship and had gone to the National Checking Service to get our documents verified and our application passed through. It was all going swimmingly till the nice lady who was checking things turned to me and went “Would you like to change your name to your married name? It would be easiest to do it now” and started the old “should I? should I not?” argument again. Though she was quick to say “You don’t have to, you know – I just wanted to point out to you if you mean to get it done, now will be the easiest time. Afterwards it will mean more money and time”. Well, there she said the magic words “more money”. After having shelled out a whopping £1310 + £85 for the three of us, we were feeling slightly sick and I think I jumped at the words “MORE MONEY”.
So, I hummed and hawed and finally mumbled “Ok fine. Change it”.
There. Changed the most fundamental bit of me forever. For less than 30 pieces of silver.
why did you get a passport? seems pointless. oh wait, there’s still 20 years more of “I am moving back to India..”
Poda!
What’s in a name? You will still be yourself, na.
Well you did what you wanted to, so I don’t see what the fuss is all about
So now you’re a british woman?
Poppy – Trust you to say something like “don’t see what the fuss is all about”!!! I did what I sorta wanted to. Oh well. Is done. sigh. And no babe, not a Brit yet. Just have applied for naturalization. Once that is thru, then I can apply for my passport. Have just started out on that, rather expensive, journey!
What! What! You applied for the Brit passport? I thought that was one thing you were never going to do (a.k.a “I’m returning to India next year
)
This is a funny one.. I was laughing my bottom out.. Shylock kettan pooo !! Now, I wish I could convince my wife to do the same : (
I can see myself doing the same. I have kickass maiden surname and I told my spouse I am either keeping mine or adding his to mine but not getting rid of mine.